I've learned something this year... I think

I've finished my 1L. Yes, it was as bad, but I don't think worse than what I'd heard before beginning law school.

The contracts final was... to briefly described: oh so very wrong. I wanted to crack up in hysterical laughter when the proctor handed out this huge packet of paper, which turned out to be our supplementary documents. This sheaf of papers was so thick, I think I could have killed a classmate with it. When I opened the essay questions, I wanted to use the supplementary documents to kill myself.

I've learned that I can survive moot court even being unsure of myself and doubting everything I've prepared. I've learned that it's true absolute assholes or rather, ass-kissers abound in law school, more than I'd ever seen in previous educational experiences. I've learned that the proctors treat you like you're five years-old no matter how many tests you've taken. I've also learned that the proctors think we pay $30,000 in tuition, which is the figure I wish we were paying. I've learned that I break out in hives if under hideous stress.

In the end, I'm not sure if I learned much about the law this year. I think I forgot a lot of what I learned first semester.

I believe that I, as a post 1L/pre 2L student, can be described best in Homestar Runner's words:

"Slightly used and mostly confused!"

The end is near

Yet again, I couldn't fall asleep last night until the wee hours of the morning. I got about two hours of sleep. This should make for an interesting exam.

In about an hour, I'll be skipping off to school blithely despite being woefully underprepared. At least this means I'm actually done with this particular professor forever and I'll be done for the year.

I see in my near future (post-exam): potent potables tonight, lots of cleaning tomorrow before my cousin arrives, and the spa on Friday. Also, there's a street fair downtown on Friday. Candy apples/strawberries, funnel cake, and gyros galore!

So it's okay if I can't answer 37 of the 38 multiple choice questions.... because I'm going to have a candied apple this week.

Is it tomorrow yet?

By this time tomorrow, I will be done with my first year of law school, the infamous 1L.

At this time, I'm trying to study for contracts, but I'm still tired despite having had eight hours of sleep last night. I only got about three hours the night before my criminal law exam because I couldn't fall asleep. I think my body's tired of this whole law school thing. I think it's in depression because it's gorgeous outside and I have to waste the day inside, studying a subject that I'm probably going to do poorly in (again).

Last semester, we had one essay for our contracts final and now I've found out that we had three essays (one with two parts) to finish in an hour and forty-five minutes followed by the multiple choice section that I absolutely bombed last semester. Yikes!

In the words of Peter Griffin, "This is going to be more intense than the time I forgot how to sit down."

But sir, you only have a 5!

A restricted diet of chicken, pork, rice, and vegetables (excluding corn and tomatoes)?

Ha! Scoff! I scoff on that idea!

That's right. I had a hanger steak after my Property final. To pound the nails into my coffin, I had ketchup with my fries! After that, I went on to break a few more rules. I'm still drinking those chocolate strawberry iced lattes from Dunkin Donuts and having clam chowder for lunch.

The hives haven't come back. The way they appeared, coinciding with certain stressful events lately lend more to a stress cause than a food allergy cause.

Yup, I also like to live dangerously (three days before another final).

Law, with a side of dumplings

Yesterday, I had a craving for soup dumplings from Green Bo (Actually, I had a craving two days ago, and couldn't stop thinking about it). Green Bo is a small restaurant and if you go during peak eating hours, there's a good chance you'll have to share a table if you want to eat before your stomach implodes. Josh used to be squeamish about this, but he's gotten over it (mostly). To be honest, I used to be anti-table sharing as well, but the temptation of cheap soup dumplings is too strong to resist, and it's not like we have to live with our tablemates.

We were seated immediately at a large table across from an older Chinese couple that was just finishing their meal. Soon after we sat down, a middle aged white guy sat next to Josh. We were polite, and the guy made a couple funny comments about people not wanting to sit down at our table anymore because he wasn't dressed well enough.

As we began eating, we continued to make polite conversation with the guy. Apparently, he was a bit of an amateur gourmet and told us about his latest creation of squid ink pasta served with scallops, shrimp, and squid topped with tomato curry. A few minutes after that, a French family walked in and he noticed they had a French map, so he spoke a few words to them. The mother from the family later came over and asked the guy for help in ordering their meal. I heard him ask her if she spoke Italian because he was better with that language, but she didn't, so he muddled along as best as he could. Later, he and Josh got into a political discussion. I usually don't like it when Josh gets into political discussions with his friends or family because it feels like he's trying to be antagonizing. I know it's because no matter what the discussion topic, Josh likes to play devil's advocate and argue the opposite side even if he doesn't feel that way himself. I was especially against Josh doing his usual "I was a political science major and now must flaunt my expertise" routine during lunch with a stranger. Thankfully, the Clinton-Bush thread was short.

We also learned that this guy was a brother-in-law to one of the professors at our law school. It turns out his entire family was a bunch of lawyers, only he was the black sheep and freelancing in some type of non-lawyerly work. He told us not to mention we ever met him if we ever had this particular professor because she'd probably drop his grade (I checked this particular professor's rating on Ratemyprofessors.com when I came home and found out that she's an awful woman, so I'll make sure to steer clear of her). We soon discovered that the party of three who were now sharing our table was also a bunch of lawyers fresh from the courthouse a few blocks away. On a side note, the three lawyers had each, uninterestingly, ordered the same dish.

Yeesh, I can't have soup dumplings without tripping over some lawyers. I'm sure this isn't a healthy attitude as a future attorney.

Update from Itch Central

Yup, those hives are still here. I couldn't sit around any longer and I had to seek medical attention. However, I have no health insurance, and therefore don't want to go to a hospital and spend goodness knows only how much.

Also the next problem: where was I going to find a dermatologist on a Sunday morning?

Of course - Chinatown, the magical place where doctors work on weekends.

I visited a dermatologist I'd seen once before and paid my $80 fee at 11:30 when I got there. After about 15 minutes, I got to see the doctor, who promptly told me that the sudden outbreak of hives was probably due to a food that I normally eat, but have suddenly developed an allergy for. He told me to restrict my diet to chicken, pork, rice, and vegetables (excluding tomatoes and corn in any form). After he said that, I was afraid that I just spent $80 to hear something I already knew.

It turned out all right in the end, as I walked out of the office with a stockpile of Zyrtec and Alavert samples. I was in and out in less than 45 minutes.

Hopefully, I won't be itching my way through the Property exam tomorrow.

Rip my skin off!

Today, I broke out in hives all over my body and I don't know why. It might be stress, or it might be an allergy I never knew I had.

Now I'm dosing myself with Benadryl and using hydrocortisone cream in hopes of controlling the outbreak.

I have a four hour exam on Monday, and I'd rather not be scratching my way through the whole thing.

Why now????!!!

I heart Passover

I always liked Passover because of matzo. Josh doesn't understand why I like matzo because he thinks they're bland and cause constipation. I like to put tomato sauce on them and sprink mozzarella cheese on top.

Voilà! Instant pizza!

Yesterday, I realized that the benefits of Passover are not limited to matzo. Yes, Passover eliminates some annoying people from my life temporarily. A few students skipped Property yesterday to observe the holiday, and I can tell you that I've never had a more pleasurable experience in class. The professor got to teach without stupid questions interrupting him left and right (asked for the sole purpose of the sake of asking questions to get attention). The most notable of dumb Property questions was: "What happens if the town records hall burns down?"

Honestly, kiss ass on your own time and stop wasting the whole section's class time on your moronic self-promotion.

It's only Tuesday?

I've finished all of my timekeeper/bailiff obligations for moot court arguments. After viewing two arguments from Josh's class, for once, I am thankful for being in my class. I thought my argument was tough enough, but at least I got to say most of what I planned. The judges in Josh's class were asking questions at a rapid-fire pace.

The good news is, Josh was hired for the summer yesterday at a securities litigation firm downtown yesterday. It seems like we've had a packed week so far, what with the interview, moot court, and our property presentation tomorrow. Let's hope Josh does his fair share!

At least I'm done with class on Thursday :)

Obstruction of professor's official functions

I was bailiff/timekeeper for P's moot court this afternoon. I joked with him and his teammate that I'd distract their professor for them so he wouldn't notice any mistake.

Some potential lines:
"Oh, Professor, I heard you used to be a wrestler in college. You must've looked great in your tight little outfit! I love wrestling. Let's see who can pin who first!"
"Oh, Professor, you look wonderful in those judge's robes. They suit you so well!"
"Oh, Professor - may I call you John? I think you'd make a great judge... Chief Justice John Napoleon*!"

It was interesting watching a moot court since I'd finished mine already. I kept my head down most of the time and stared at my watch because I didn't want to smile at a weird time or giggle.

Now Josh is preparing for his moot court. I'll be nice and show him what it's really like to be supportive, rather than doing favors begrudgingly and whining about how I shouldn't have to do anything to help.

*Not his real name

Yay!

I'm done with Oral Advocacy! My heartrate can finally return to normal after two days of anxiety.

I woke up early this morning to practice all over again. I didn't sleep well and kept waking up throughout the night. It was nice, even though my alarm clock was going off, to see Eli sitting on my chest as soon as I opened my eyes.

I was careful about what I ate for breakfast because I'd heard stories about people throwing up right before their moot court. I figured if I had two egg whites early, I probably wouldn't get sick.

My argument went as well as I expected. I didn't really forget anything. I think I missed a part of what I planned to say because a judge asked me a question that forced me onto the next point in my argument. Of course, I was nervous when the judge asked me questions. I was scared from the beginning that they were going to ask me a question that I wouldn't be able to answer and therefore look like a moron.

The thing that annoyed me today was a classmate who had their moot court immediately before mine. When I walked into my next class, happy and relieved, he asked me how I did and of course I answered that I did well. He asked me if I won on my issue and I said that the judges ruled that I lost. I knew that the judges would rule that way because the problem was worked out in such a way that of the two issues, each side had one that swayed in their favor. As the appellee, I was on the weaker side for the physical injury issue.

MR. KNOW-IT-ALL
Really, you lost?
[See what I mean about people who ask questions not to be nice, but to gage you as competition, and silently smirk at how he thinks you're inferior to him?]

DORA
Well, yeah. After all, it's kind of pre-determined who'll win which issue.

MR. KNOW-IT-ALL
I don't think so. I won on physical injury.

DORA
Weren't you on the appellant's side? The physical injury issue is swayed in your favor.

MR. KNOW-IT-ALL
[his teammate points out that this is true]
Yeah, I was on the appellant's side.

For the rest of today, I am on vacation except for the laundry that I have been putting off for the past four days. I plan to rot my brains with Apprentice and the episode of Grey's Anatomy that I missed this weekend.

Thanks for all your support while I was whining about moot court: Annette, Stacey, Jasmine, and P.

Still practicing

Please stop talking to me about physical injury

I think the cats are tired of hearing my argument over and over in its various, mutilated incarnations.

I'm surprised that I remember as much as I do, but know that when I'm at the podium, I'll get flustered and forget really important stuff.

All I have to do is remember to breathe and I think I'll be okay.

Talking to myself

Uno Morty burrito por favor, hold the cojones

Just think: On Thursday at this time, I'll be done with Written and Oral Advocacy forever.

However, until that time, I have to practice my oral argument by talking to a wall (I can't practice in front of a mirror because I think it's weird). I don't think I'm as nervous as I was this weekend, but I've reached the mindset where I just want it to be over with and wished that our group had picked the 10:30 a.m. timeslot for today.

On the upside, the weather has taken a turn for the San Franciscan. It's nice and cool, perfect to walk around the city, but I can't do that until after Thursday. The only way I get to enjoy the weather is by studying on the roof, and I've started bringing the cats up there too since Josh and I bought leashes and harnesses for them. They get scared and start shivering, hence the picture of a kitty burrito above.

Right, so it's time to start practicing for this moot court thing so I don't make a cake of myself again. I've started looking at it like a gynecologist appointment. It makes you anxious and uncomfortable before and during, but once it's over, you're relieved and won't have to do it again for a very long time.

Actually, I think I'd take a gyno appointment over this moot court thing. I'll take a scary pair of salad tongs any day over three scary judges.

Butterflies

Did I ever mention that I am afraid of butterflies? I'm afraid of all kinds of butterflies: alive, dead, metaphorical, etc. Yes, I know they're harmless and they're pretty, but they're creepy and make my skin crawl.

I remember one night before a first-day-of-school during elementary school, I had a nightmare where I was walking down a street lined with huge trees. I walked up to one that looked funny and when I was closer, I realized the tree looked funny because it was covered with monarch butterflies. Of course, I started to run away and they started flying after me. It took me a while to get back to sleep that night.

Today, the butterflies I'm dealing with are in my stomach. My moot court argument is this Thursday at noon. I just read my opponent's reply brief (replying to my team's brief - duh), and I realize my issue sucks a LOT MORE than I thought it already did (Cindy, good job. Your brief has me shaking in my heels-that-I-wear-only-when-I-wear-my-suit).

I realize that our professor created a scenario with two issues, each one swaying towards a particular side. I also knew that I picked the weaker issue out of the two for my team, so I shouldn't be surprised now. Thank goodness my grade is based on my performance during our moot court, and not whether I win on my issue. However, my performance will probably be dented a bit because I argue after my opponent, so I'll hear all that stuff that'll make me feel as though my argument sucks.

Maybe I should wear earplugs.

Book smarts?

During my Oral Advocacy class, we did ungraded practice arguments in preparation for our moot court arguments next week. I took some notes before class for my two-minute argument. One of my classmates asked me if I was ready for my speech. That question pissed me off because some people will ask you questions because they want to make conversation, but others will ask you questions because they're checking to see if you'll be any competition against them.

"No, I'm not prepared. Ask me if I care."

After making a cake of myself with my underprepared argument, I wanted to escape the school. There's a freight elevator right outside my classroom. I noticed before class that there was a green sign taped over the button that stated the elevator was out of service. When I walked out of the classroom, there were three men who may have been students (I have trouble telling because sometimes students wear suits) waiting by the elevator. The sign was still taped over the button.

I asked them, "Isn't the elevator out of service?"
"Yeah, it is," one of the guys said, "but we're going to give it a shot anyway."

I took the stairs.

At least it's downhill from here

I don't know what happened, but it seems that around late Wednesday, I become really depressed about school. Normally, when my classes end, I don't feel this desperate need to escape the building and not come back again until it's absolutely necessary. Today I was supposed to be in school from 9:00 to 12:40. I didn't finally leave school until 5:00. My head was pounding by then.

I had a craving for a McFlurry, so I stopped by the McDonald's on Broadway close to my school. When the girl was making the Flurry, she didn't put a cover on, so all the Oreo bits didn't even stay in the cup. At this point, I started to have a bad feeling. She handed the cup to me after putting the top on. I asked, "Isn't it supposed to be blended?" She responded, "You want it blended?" Umm... isn't that the essence of the Flurry? Well, I guess she didn't know what she was doing because she messed it up and the machine got the better of her, while barely mixing the Flurry up. She handed it back to me and said, "You'll have to get a napkin," since the cup was covered in bits of ice cream and Oreo. I stirred it up and the bottom half of the Flurry didn't have any Oreo at all.

Worst. Flurry. Ever.

Rainy days and Mondays

Arrives fresh daily

Why can't I be like my cats and sleep for 21 hours of the day? Instead, I was in Contracts at 9 a.m. with about 5 1/2 hours of sleep. After dragging my waterlogged body back home (torrential rain on the Monday after spring break - is there anything more depressing?), I realized Eli needed his butt wiped as he had a serious case of stinkbutt.

Mid-wipe, the phone rang and I jumped for it.

I got a job offer for the summer! I wasn't expecting their decision for at least 2 weeks, and it's only been 6 days! The interview had gone well, but I don't like to jump to conclusions. I start work in June, so I get a little vacation.

I think it's the perfect job for me, considering my interests, and hopefully the euphoria will carry me through the rest of the week (doubtful).

Get out!

I had another nightmare.

I dreamed I had just left my apartment to go to school, but turned around because I'd forgotten my PDA. When I stepped into the apartment, I saw Spiff, one of my über-competitive classmates at my desk with my Palm, and he was looking through my data, trying to make sure I didn't know something he didn't know.

I demanded to know what he was doing, and Spiff said that he had to know how I was getting interviews because he had better grades than me. If I could get those interviews, he should be able to interview there as well because he was sooooo much smarter.

After that, the rest of the nightmare was a strange situation where I proctored a spelling test and had to read words for the test. Later, I had to read a book out loud, where the test takers had to listen and guess which of the words was actually being tested.

Jeez, what the heck did I eat that made me dream like that?

Random thoughts, anyone?

We were discussing adverse possession in Property today. The professor turned away from the whiteboard and saw a student in the front row with his hand raised.

"You said our midterm grades would be out later this week. Are they going to be available today?" asked Mr. Spiff.

"Is that an adverse possession question?" my professor asked Spiff.

Are we there yet?

This week prior to spring break is agony. I don't want to be in school right now. The only thing I've got going for me this week is my team appellate brief. My teammate and I have to come up with a pseudonym for the both of us (only one name because we can't reveal the number of people on the team).

I'll contribute "Fig Newton." I don't know, but "Newton" sounds so funny.

All I have to do is make it through Thursday and I'll be home free... to do my contracts practice midterm over break.

Curse you, Doobs.