Pondering

I was bumming tonight and wound up watching "You've Got Mail" on TBS. I really like that movie because it has this great dialogue, and of course, New York City as a background for everything. It makes me look forward to living there. In fact, it makes me look forward to settling down.

For the past few years, since I started college, I feel as though I haven't really made a place home. The house I grew up in became less and less like home when I started developing into the person I am today. Apparently, who I am today is something terribly shameful to my parents, and I think they are embarrassed by me. When I came home after I graduated from college, I didn't even get to sleep in my own bedroom. I was shifted from bedroom to bedroom and I never unpacked my things from school. I felt very alone when I was in that house... alienated actually.

I've moved twice since I left my parents' house. I don't feel like settling down too deeply since I know I'm leaving in less than two months. Wow, I can't believe it's down to that small amount of time. Although I complain at work that the day is dragging, the week flies by and I find myself preparing for yet another week.

I think I'm ready to move on. I know it will be hard, but I think I'll be happy to have a home I love to be in.