Post office shenanigans

I went to the post office this afternoon to mail a stuffed animal out to my cousin, counting on there being a priority mail box for me to pack said animal into. I only have Fresh Direct boxes at home and when I tried to mail something out with it, the USPS worker told me that I couldn't mail something out with a business logo on it unless the contents of the box were actually from that business. I remember having to use brown tape to cover up the logos that day, and had no desire to repeat that performance.

Unfortunately, the USPS stopped providing the larger box I remembered and has cheaply provided a flatter rectangular one and a small cube. I was perusing the selection of boxes, which happened to be next to the two policemen on duty in the post office.

ME
[picking up rectangular box]

COP
That's a rectangle shaped box.

MY INNER MONOLOGUE
Do I look like a dumb little girl?
[picking up cube box]

COP
That one's more like a square.

ME
Thanks.

I brought both boxes to a table and figured that the box would be better and started stuffing the poor toy into it, scrunching it up so horribly that I felt bad for it. I stopped when I heard laughing and a high pitched voice behind me.

COP
[in high pitched cartoony voice]
Oh no! Let me out! Don't put me in here!

I got really embarrassed because people started looking at me stuffing this huge toy into a tiny box. Maybe they thought I was cheap (trying to take advantage of the flat rate, which wasn't much of a deal), or like the cops, thought I was stupid. After I finally left, I waved to the cops, and one (I think did the cartoon voice) of them said, "Bye Sweetheart." I don't know whether to be enraged or just grateful not to be the butt of some USPS/NYPD joke anymore.

Kitty envy

I'm back from PA! Annette's kitties are the best, and I almost kidnapped Sehkmet (yikes, did I spell that right?) when I packed up for my return trip.

I've never been so happy to get on a PATH train before, but my NJ Transit train turned out to be ultra packed that I was afraid that I wouldn't make the transfer at Newark. It really wouldn't have mattered though, since the conductors stopped checking tickets at New Brunswick.

I smiled when I walked out of the PATH station after almost 4 hours of travelling. Philadelphia is nice, but I think I'm a New York girl at heart. Well, that or I was just happy to depend on my two feet to get to my destination, rather than a bunch of trains.

Oh, and if anyone has been frustrated by the Flash Mind Reader, here's the solution.

Christmas for one

Since there aren't any grand Christmas traditions in my family, we didn't do a big get-together this year. We all just saw each other during Thanksgiving (both sides of the family), so it's not a big deal. Today, I could've gone to Brooklyn to partake in lunch at my cousins' house, but with my lingering cold, I didn't feel like making the trip out there. I slept in with a kitty (Eli) snuggled behind my knees and then went to the movies.

Yes, I went to the movies by myself, although I wasn't alone. I'd never seen the movie theater so packed before. Thankfully most people were wasting their money on King Kong. I finally got to see Memoirs of a Geisha, which was quite good, visually stunning, in fact. I didn't think much of the book, and didn't finish it. After that, I went to dinner by myself. Then it was on to the laundry, folding that laundry while watching TV, and packing for my trip to PA.

In short a great Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

I had to beat a couple dozen tourist children and their parents to take that picture.

I love Colin Firth!

During my bakefest last weekend (for my coworkers' holiday gifts), I watched the A&E version of Pride and Prejudice. I still like Sense and Sensibility better, but I do so love Colin Firth!

So I watched Bridget Jones's Diary tonight since I was in a Colin Firth mood. I guess I could watch Love Actually too if I wanted to go for the trifecta (I've only seen him in these three movies).

Oh Colin, you're so dreamy. You can jump into a lake any day for me.

Welcome to Bake-a-palooza!

Let's see how much I've baked over the past couple weeks:

12 dozen gingersnaps
5 dozen jam shortbread cookies
6 dozen chocolate citrus biscotti
16 dozen hazelnut chocolate chip cookies

Yikes, that's a lot of cookies!

A total of some of the ingredients used for all these cookies:

16 sticks of unsalted butter
27 cups of all purpose flour
19 eggs
9 cups of granulated sugar
7 cups of brown sugar
6 (12 oz.) bags of chocolate chips

Most of the cookies were for my coworkers and their holiday gifts. I picked up a huge package of cellophane bags from a cake supply store and I was a little cookie factory. I'm done with baking for a very long time after this cookie bonanza.

Stick that strike up your you-know-what

Since the TWU decided to strike starting yesterday. That means that I've walked to and from work since then, which is a bit longer than 2.5 miles. 2.5 miles isn't that long, but when it's freezing cold and windy, it quickly starts to feel a lot longer.

Even better, I've gotten sick from all the walking. I was so miserable at work today, staying later and later thanks to the ineptness of the operations department. My purchase orders didn't come through when they were supposed to, so one of my bosses kept telling me to go home, but if I didn't finish the POs, I would've had to come in the next day. I figured I'd feel better if I took a whole day off rather than leaving a couple hours early, so I stuck it out.

I told my boss, "Assume that I'm not going to be here tomorrow. If I'm well, I'll come in."

He told me not to come in even if I am well. Woohoo! Day off!

Gift-giving tactics

I love the holidays! I haven't done much shopping though. Originally, I planned to get Josh's picture with Eli Manning (taken this summer) matted and framed. I realized that framing is an expensive thing, even in New Jersey. Being in Manhattan is only going to make that lots worse. Last week, I got a better gift idea for Josh.

Josh had been asking me what I was going to do for his present, so I decided to throw him off the trail. I told him that I'd tell him my gift idea if he told me his. He agreed, so I told him that I was going to have his picture with Eli Manning framed. He told me he was going to get a couple's massage for us. I was a little disappointed with that because massages are over and done with in one session. I picked up Josh's gift during my lunch break a couple days ago and wrapped it up. I let him decide if he wanted to open it when I got home that night, and of course, he opened it.

I gave Josh a Shun Classic Granton Santoku knife. He was definitely surprised when he got it, so my strategy worked. We took the knife for a spin by chopping an onion, and it was so easy. The slices fell right off the blade. But then I figured that it was so easy because onions are so soft, so we tried carrots. It felt like we were cutting through soft butter! It was definitely a good investment because Josh might be inclined to cook. Even if he doesn't cook more, I've got a knife I love too! Ha ha, it's almost as self-satisfying as Josh's "gift" of a couple's massage to me. At least the knife lasts longer!

That very same night, Josh and I went out shopping at the South Street Seaport, which just happens to have a Coach store. Josh and I went in (after I made a fool out of myself because I couldn't open the door). Originally, Josh had been saying that for Christmas, he'd get me the bag I've been lusting after for the past several months. I bounced up and down when I modeled it in front of the mirror. Josh shook his head and said, "How can a bag make you so happy?" Eh, I guess it's a girl thing. I was saying how I'd use it starting the next day, but unfortunately, the last bag was the floor model. They asked if we wanted to take that, but there was no way I was going to take a bag that a bunch of strangers had pawed over. It's one thing if you're buying a $20 bag at Macy's, but if you're paying big bucks for one, you'd better get a new one. At least, that's the way I feel, because I'm one of those people who paws all over bags she has no intention of buying because they're so out of my budget. The bag will be here before Christmas though, on Tuesday!

Josh said, "Tuesday is going to be the best day of your life. You're going to get your bag and find out who the Carver is on Nip/Tuck."

I guess it's appropriate

Your 2005 Song Is

Since You've Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson "But since you've been gone I can breathe for the first time I'm so moving on" In 2005, you moved on.

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

Snow + Work

I remember the days before living in New York City.

When I was at Rutgers, they cancelled classes at the sight of a fluffy snowflake. When I was in high school, we could always count on a two-hour delay for extra sleep.

New York Law School never closed for the weather, be it flooding the subway stations or streets. However, they did close for every Jewish holiday and the Republican National Convention (for 3 days!). Then again, the administration did care more about keeping their professors (to keep the school semi-reputable), who were mostly Jewish and mostly Democrats, happy. Why does being a Democrat matter for closing the school during the RNC? Why, the better to protest, my dear!

I guess it's only appropriate that I still have to go to work on time this morning. At least with my current job, there is unlikely to be a repeat of the disastrous phone-chain of 2004.

I definitely DON'T miss the white knuckled driving on snow covered backroads of Jackson, NJ.

She works hard for the money

I had a few work functions to attend this week. Mostly, I try to act like an adult while constantly being seen with some type of alcoholic beverage. The last time I went out to lunch with a sales rep, I was the only one at the table who didn't drink. While 90% of the group got up for a cigarette break, my boss ("B") gave me an impromptu "performance review." He told me not to feel that I couldn't drink while I'm technically working. He said that if I drank, he would feel less guilty about the half dozen vodka tonics he imbibed.

On Monday, I departed from my usual amaretto sour and went with gin & tonic, the beverage of choice for alcoholics (or so I've heard). I stopped drinking it when I felt myself turning red. You see, I could drink more than one drink, but I turn red (remember, I'm Asian) in the most unflattering way. Shirley has the ability to become rosy cheeked. I get this red raccoon mask instead. Not pretty. I don't think anyone noticed anyways. B was probably soused and didn't comment on my dismal performance alcohol-wise. I'm sure my coworkers made up for my slacking.

On Tuesday, I went out to lunch with the same sales rep as last time. We went to the ultra yummy Aquagrill. In honor of B, who couldn't attend, I had ordered a glass of chenin blanc, one of the few wines that I like. One of the other managers said, "B would be proud."

When I returned to the office after having lunch for three hours, Josh called.

JOSH
Where were you all afternoon?

ME
I was at lunch.

JOSH
ALL afternoon?? How long was this "lunch"?
[I took the liberty of putting finger/air quotes around "lunch" because it was dripping from Josh's voice]

ME
Three hours.

JOSH
Do any of you work?!

Yes, I work very hard before I go to lunch.

Football follies

On Black Friday, some people go shopping. Josh and our high school friends play football at the town's rec center fields.

This year, they played for about five hours in the freezing cold. When Josh came to pick me up, he was in so much pain, not from the lactic acid that resulted from all the running, but some moron who was playing too hard.

Normally, they play with the understanding that it's just two-hand touch. This strange guy who showed up for the game wore football gear and cleats, making it easier and safer for him to play rough. Apparently, this guy was so huge and intimidating that some people were afraid of him. At the very end of the game, Josh took the worst hit of the day from this strange guy, landing the hardest on his tailbone and the back of his head.

In the car, Dave and Josh talked about this football crazed moron who didn't realize that he was the only one with the appropriate gear for playing hard. Clearly, this fellow has played a little too much football and taken too many hits to the head, as he has no common sense left at all. A lot of people had issues with the crazy dude, so I asked them if anyone had taken the fellow aside to let him know about their rules. Of course, none of them had spoken to the football nut.

Maybe they were scared of him.

Allow me to shed some light on the matter...

Josh and I were riding the bus home to NJ today. To pass the time, I whipped out my handy-dandy Sudoku book. We worked on puzzles together.

Aww... how sappy.

It was getting dark, so I figured I'd turn on my individually portioned overhead light. I hit the button really quickly and looked down at the puzzle book, wondering why it was still hard to see the numbers.

Josh

[Looks up - the light didn't turn on]

Umm...

Dora

I was wondering why the book was still hard to read!

Josh

[Shakes his head]

You've just reached a new low

Dora

Are you proud of me?

My ice cream saga

When I was younger, I loved Häagen Dazs's "Caramel Cone Explosion." It was this delicious caramel flavored ice cream with caramel swirls and big pieces of chocolate dipped sugar cone. It was incredibly yummy.

And then I was saddened when they discontinued the flavor. They created Dulce de Leche soon afterward, but it wasn't as good without the chocolate dipped sugar cone pieces. Why did Häagen Dazs have to mess with something that was already great?

I was pleasantly surprised when Häagen Dazs released Caramel Cone and I found it at my local CVS. It was just as I remembered Caramel Cone Explosion. Josh and I were in the same CVS a couple days later, when I was down to half a pint. I asked Josh if he thought I should get another pint and he told me it was ridiculous because I still had some.

It figures that CVS had a sale on ice cream and Caramel Cone was wiped out. It wasn't even among the flavors when the case was restocked. Every time I went to CVS, I walked to the case, hoping that it would be there, but was disappointed for almost 2 months.

Lo and behold! I went to CVS the other day and there was a whole row of Caramel Cone! Guess who bought three pints? I told Josh not to touch them because of their rarity. He usually doesn't like my ice cream flavors anyway. He's more of a mint chocolate cookies and cream cookie dough kind of guy.

But he was a jerk this evening and opened up a new pint despite my wishes to ration out the BEST ICE CREAM FLAVOR EVER. Then he called me a bitch for not letting him have the pint.

I wonder sometimes if he's eating my ice cream because he knows it bothers me or because he actually likes it.

The most trivial of pursuits

Before our Wallace and Gromit viewing, we had to wait for all the guests to arrive last Sunday. We passed the time by playing the 90s edition of Trivial Pursuit.

My team got a question asking which Middle Eastern dignitary's death was attended by Clinton, Bush, Ford, and Carter. I was thinking of Israel's Yitzhak Rabin, although I didn't remember his name at the time. Somehow, my teammates and I came up with the name "Israel Sharon."

The guys said, "You combined Israel, a country, with Sharon, who's still alive."

Eh, our team won in the end anyways.

Happy Halloween!

I am so mad at you, Mom. I just might poop on your cell phone like Eli did.

How many?

It all started innocently enough. It'll be nice to have a couple friends over to watch Wallace and Gromit movies. And make pizza for them.

So, S invited herself and A over for an afternoon of W&G and pizza.

Then S invited R and it snowballed, with me inviting J and K as well. At that point, I increased the menu to include stuffed mushrooms.

Last night, S asked if her boyfriend and D, another coworker, could come too.

Sooo... if everyone comes, it's going to be 9 people in total (don't forget Josh and me!). Since there'll be 3 guys in attendance now, rather than just a small group of girls, pizzas and mushrooms probably won't cut it, so here's the new menu:

White Bean Dip with Baked Pita Chips
Stuffed Mushrooms
Pissaladiere
Lemon Chicken Skewers with Satay Sauce

S will supply dessert and have other guests bring beverages, because some of this is her fault.

How old are you now?

I did this quiz to figure out what age I act, and it said I was 25. Crazy - I'm 24, so the results weren't very far off.

You Are 25 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Grandma Dora

I started knitting a couple weeks ago. Serious knitting, not like the stuffed animal blankets I used to make when I was a kid. No, I'm not talking about sweaters. I'm not good enough and I don't think I'd pay enough attention to do a good job. I'd probably make a sweater with one sleeve.

I started with a scarf two Sundays ago, and I have completed my creation. It's awesome and not too crooked on the sides.

I was knitting while watching TV last week, wearing my new glasses, and Josh laughed at me, saying that I was officially old.

Burger Creepy

Has anyone seen those Burger King commercials with the a guy wearing a king costume complete with plastic mask?

Usually, you see some guy doing his everyday routine and all of a sudden the Burger King appears out of nowhere. If I were the person being surprised by the Burger King, I'd freak out. Wouldn't you freak out if you were pulling up your window blinds and saw the Burger King on the other side of the glass, close enough to fog up your view (if he can breathe through that plastic mask)? Don't even get me started on the guy working on the construction of a high rise building scenario.

Creepy guy with plastic face offering you a meat-normous sandwich with meat, on top of meat, ON TOP OF MEAT!

Scares me enough to make me want to be a vegetarian... almost.

Ah, the spectacle

I went to my first eye doctor appointment ever this Monday. I figured that all that squinting I've been doing can't be blamed on lack of sleep (entirely).

Surprise, surprise, I'm nearsighted. Thanks law school! I hope I didn't pick out frames that were too nerdy or too anything. At least I don't have to wear the glasses all the time - I only need them when I'm watching TV, at the movies, or driving.

Since I can't afford to go to the movies and no longer drive, I guess these are my TV specs.

Mmm... television: Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Non-customer service

I recently got a new Cingular phone, switching from Verizon Wireless. Because of the way Amazon did the deal, I couldn't carry my old phone number with me because I wouldn't have gotten my new phone for free. So far, there haven't been any problems with Cingular, but I've been getting weird phone calls, probably having to do with the previous holder of my phone number. Every day, I get a phone call from this 866 area code number. When I call it back, I get some kind of Sprint customer service department.

Last night, I decided to have a conversation with somebody at this number and figure why they keep calling me and not leaving a voicemail.

SPRINT REP #1
You're getting the calls because a Sprint customer put your number down for a reference number. Can you tell me the account number of that Sprint customer?

ME
I have no idea who had this phone number before me. Cingular issued the phone number to me when I opened a new account with them last week.

SPRINT REP #1
I see. Well, we can't do anything about the phone calls you get from us unless we have that account number. The next time you get a call from our number, just pick up the phone and ask the rep what account number they're calling in reference to.

ME
But that's someone from your department! You could just look up my phone number and take it out of your computer system!

SPRINT REP #1
We don't have that ability here. You should call the regular Sprint customer service department. We're the finance department. They have a different system than we do and they'll be able to tell you the account number.

So, I called the other customer service number, only to be asked for my Sprint phone number by the computer system. I didn't have one, so I tried dialing zero, which didn't work.

SPRINT REP #2
Hi, this is [Sprint REp #2], what's your Sprint account number?

ME
I don't have a Sprint account number. [Repeat story about daily phone calls]

SPRINT REP #2
You should just answer the phone and speak to the rep who calls you.

ME
How can I do that? I've had my phone out at work, and when I answer it, there's nobody at the other end! I find it slightly creepy to keep on getting these calls where no one's at the other end.

SPRINT REP #2
Well, we use an auto dialer, so there's a pause. That's why you don't hear anything at first.

ME
So you use a telemarketing tool?

SPRINT REP #2
Yes. We make courtesy calls.

ME
Well, I don't want your Sprint courtesy calls. [Sprint Rep #1] told me to call this other customer service number and I'm not allowed to speak with a human unless I have a Sprint phone number. I've never even been a Sprint customer and I certainly will never be after all this! If you use an auto dialer, why don't you just delete my number?

SPRINT REP #2
We'd have to do that manually and that would take too long.

ME
I want to speak to a manager.

Call transfers

SPRINT REP #1
The manager has left for the day. You should call the customer service number tomorrow because they're not in anymore.

ME
Then why did you give me their number to call about this issue?

SPRINT REP #1
I assumed that you were going to call them tomorrow.

ME
I want to resolve this issue today, not tomorrow. Anyways, I can't reach a rep unless I have a Sprint phone number.

SPRINT REP #1
You need to dial *2

ME
What does the Sprint finance department do then?

SPRINT REP #1
We clear accounts that have outstanding balances.

ME
So you're tracking down delinquent Sprint customers who don't pay their bills.

I called the other number again, only to find that you're supposed to dial *2 from your Sprint cell phone, which I again, don't have!

SPRINT REP #3
Hi, can I have your Sprint account number?

ME
Hi, I'd like to speak to [Sprint Rep #1]

SPRINT REP #3
She's on another call right now.

ME
[Repeat story about daily phone calls and conflicting information given by Sprint reps #1 and 2]

SPRINT REP #3
Oh, I heard her talking to you about that. Hold please.

Call transfers

ME
I want an address where I can lodge a complaint. I also want the number of your legal department so I can speak to them about these harassing phone calls.

SPRINT REP #1
I don't know the number of the legal department. There's also another department that could help you but I don't have their new phone number. I can give you the business services number. Maybe they can help you.

ME
Look it up! How can Sprint departments not know how to contact each other or what they do? You can't even tell me how to contact a human being in customer service with instructions that actually work! You keep telling me that I should take the time out of my work day and waste my cell phone minutes trying to fix YOUR mistakes! I am never going to have a Sprint phone and even after this issue is someday resolved, I'm going to write a letter about this!

SPRINT REP #1
Hold please.

Call transfers

SPRINT MANAGER
Hi, this is [Sprint Manager].

By now, I'm seriously pissed about the lies/conflicting information provided by all Sprint reps.

ME
Did [Sprint Rep #1] tell you why I'm calling?

SPRINT MANAGER
Actually, the message was a bit garbled. Tell me again please.

ME
Surprise, surprise that she couldn't even tell her manager the problem clearly.
[Repeat story about daily phone calls and all the crappy information provided by their so-called finance department]

SPRINT MANAGER
I can take care of this for you. I'll just put your number on the do-not-call list.

ME
Thanks.

Insert screaming/ripping-out-hair here.

I'd like some extra law please

Josh and I were at Ferrara's this evening enjoying a cup of the best (although quite expensive) hot chocolate around. While we were enjoying our dessert, the topic of my cousin's imminent marriage proposal came up.

I joked with Josh, saying that if he were to propose marriage, it wouldn't be one of those romantic to-dos like you see in the movies. He'd probably be in the bathroom doing a big number 2, or as he puts it, a number 8. Then he'd call for me and make me yell "WHAT??!" back at him. He'd probably ask for some toilet paper and say that if I bring the toilet paper to him, thus entering the biohazard area of his creation, we would get married.

The sad part of this conversation is not in my disgusting scatalogical humor.

We were discussing the bilateral and unilateral contract implications of such a transaction. See what I said about law school messing you up? You can't even enjoy good ol' toilet bowl humor anymore!

Sudorku

Last week, I participated in my first sudoku drill with three other coworkers. The best part is that nobody could walk by and say that we were slacking off and needed to be managed, because a manager was one of those three coworkers and swearing her head off about her puzzle.

We're such dorks.

Job perks

The other day, I was turning onto my street and spotted a young woman walking several feet ahead of me. She was a familiar sight to me.

She was walking at a brisk pace (some might find it to be a "huffy" kind of walk), bouncing along despite the large backpack over her shoulders, bulging out as though she really packed the kitchen sink. There was a laptop bag hanging from her arm, swinging as she walked to reach her overpriced Manhattan apartment as quickly as possible to better kill herself by imbedding her civil procedure textbook into her skull.

Oh wait, I'm thinking about what I wanted to do when I was walking as fast as possible away from law school. That girl was probably going back home to passionately study civil procedure and make helpful study aids like legal flashcards or something like that. I never really bought into the whole flashcard business anyways.

Anyways, on a Sunday night last semester, I'd be killing myself so I could watch Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. I used to have first period contracts with the professor from hell. Tonight, I got to enjoy those season premieres without worrying whether I'd be prepared for my Monday.

Josh's mom has been dropping hints of her displeasure at my career path change. She said to me the other week, "So, do you still like your job?" Even if I didn't like it, I wouldn't run back to the arms of law school begging it to take me back. There's something different in her eyes when she looks at me. I can't decide if it's disappointment or a loss of respect. I don't really care what she says because I can bet you a million bucks that I'm happier working full-time at my job than she is working part-time at hers.

The funny thing is: my own mother has been more enthusiastic about what I've been doing career-wise than she was about me going to law school.

Not all is lost

Josh and I went out to dinner last night at Perbacco Cafe. I wanted to grab a bowl of seafood stew from a restaurant within walking distance. Instead, Josh wanted to try this Italian place out. When I found out which train we had to take in order to get there, I began having doubts. On our way to the subway station, it started raining. When we got out of the subway, we had to walk seven blocks in the rain to get to this restaurant, which was out in the middle of nowhere.

Since Josh sat on the inside along the wall, I kept getting bumped into by the servers for the tables on either side of us. The appetizers were good, but the pasta was mediocre. Primitivo Osteria has better pasta. Josh also didn't notice that they didn't take credit cards. I wound up walking out to get cash from a nearby ATM. $2 to take out cash???? Ridiculous!

We skipped dessert so we could get the hell out of that place and walked up to Veniero's, an Italian bakery/cafe a few blocks north. Finally, Josh and I were able to have a conversation (Perbacco was hugely loud) and sit next to each other. I had this fantastic slice of almond torte. It was filled with layers of yellow sponge cake and apricot jam, covered with a crust of baked almond paste. Yummy! It definitely redeemed the night. The hot chocolate was not as good as Ferrara's though.

After dessert, we had a lovely walk to Union Square in the cool weather. I can't wait for Fall to really start!

They don't work you hard enough

I went to my first vendor lunch today at work. About half of my department went with the vendor to Aquagrill at 12:30 today, and we didn't go back to work until 4:00. I was the only one who didn't drink anything (alcoholic). At the end of the meal, one of my supervisors said that I had to start drinking at work events because then he wouldn't feel so bad about the four drinks he was having.

I've also started doing Sudoku puzzles, thanks to a couple Sudoku-obsessed coworkers. They've actually gotten good enough to race each other. So far, my time is 20 minutes for a puzzle, although Josh was constantly bugging me while I was doing it. Hopefully, I'll get good enough to take part in the Sudoku hijinks. We've gotten so obsessed that we were thinking about doing the puzzle during our vendor lunch today, but it would've been awfully rude.

And then we considered passing it under the table, having each person do one number at a time, telephone-style.

Where were you?

I remember that I was in the Livingston student center that morning, buying my dunkaccino at Dunkin Donuts. I was dreading going to my communication class when I looked at the TV to see one of the towers burning. I remember the students watching in stunned silence.

I remember being in that 9:50 class when a student ran in to announce that one of the towers had fallen. Sometimes I wonder who told that student to make the announcement. The professor let those students with family and friends who worked in NYC leave early, and I left class.

Rutgers wound up dismissing class for the day while I was on the bus back to my campus, and classes were cancelled for the next couple days as well. I actually had to work that day and we could see the smoke from the top level of the bookstore's parking garage.

It was a strangely surreal time and the details of that day are very sharp to me.

Yes, that's who I think it is!

After living for a year in Manhattan, I've finally had an honest to goodness brush with fame.

Josh and I were walking by Les Halles, which is right by my apartment and we were standing on the edge of all the cameramen who were surrounding a red carpet. Apparently, Les Halles was having a party in honor of Anthony Bourdain's book, Kitchen Confidential.

I was looking for anyone I recognized in the crowd, figuring that there might be someone there from Food Network. Then I saw this guy and said to Josh, "Isn't that Harold from Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle?" And sure enough, it really was John Cho.

He walked towards us and I said hi to him when he was close enough, and told him that I really liked Harold and Kumar. He thanked me for the compliment, shook Josh's and my hand, and introduced himself officially. It was really neat and it made my day.

Nothing this exciting ever happens down by where I live after the trading day is finished. The most exciting thing Josh and I have ever seen is a shoplifter being chased down by Century 21 security.

So long, suckers!

Most of the planes here have propellors!

Because our flight was to depart San Juan at 12:00 p.m., it qualified as an "early departure." I had to pick up special luggage tags that would distinguish our bags from the "late departures." This whole early/late division seems like a good idea, but since the sort criteria was whether the flight is before 1:30 p.m., it was pretty useless. I'll draw another comparison to Royal Caribbean here. RC has more than 2 groups of disembarkation times. It divides the passengers into many groups based on their flight departure times. I think our flight out of Miami was about the same time last year and we got there with a couple hours to spare.

Since we were early departures, we had to report to the auditorium at 7:45 a.m., where we proceeded to wait over an hour before anybody was allowed to leave the ship. I felt bad for the people with 10 a.m. flights because it turned it that flight times didn't matter. Carnival released people based on how close they sat to the front of the auditorium! Therefore, it didn't matter if your flight was the earliest one, it mattered that your seat was closest to the stage. People like Josh's family and me who decided to eat breakfast wound up stuck in the back and waiting until 9:30 to get out of the auditorium.

We got to the airport in time and even had some time to wait and talk to each other without the Nocheeses (finally!). I spent the time anticipating getting to see my little morons who were waiting back home (see left). When our plane arrived, we watched the eager-faced passengers step into the terminal. Undoubtedly, some of these people were the Carnival Destiny's next victims, fresh faced and filled with optimism about their cruise vacation.

I guess my expectations about seeing Morty and Eli were a bit high because when I walked into my apartment, they both ran and hid under the bed. I think they were scared by the luggage. After a few minutes, Morty poked his head out and stared at me for a couple seconds. Then, as though he suddenly remembered who I was (I could hear the shriek of "Mommy!!!" in his head), he ran over to me and head butted me like there was no tomorrow.

And then I was home.

(Eli took several hours to say hello to me because he's a scaredy cat.)

Cruise Post #13: Aruba, Jamaica, ooo I wanna take ya

On the first day of our cruise, all passengers were required to go through a muster drill before the ship departed Puerto Rico. During the muster drill, you report to your assigned "muster station" after a few ear-splitting blasts from the Carnival whale-tail above. Good little passengers, such as Josh and I, wore their standard-issue hideous orange box of a life preserver. Since Josh and I were early, we wound up being in the back of our muster group, smushed against the wall.

Josh took off his preserver since none of the Carnival staff would notice (not that they really cared) because it was so disgustingly hot and humid. I discovered that if I leaned back, my life preserver would preserve the back of my head from hitting the metal wall behind me, so I semi-reclined as I was given instructions that would save my life in the unlikely event of a maritime emergency, while the lackluster crew pointed out where our lifeboat would be (right in front of our muster station - probably the only sensible design on this cruise ship - although screaming passengers during a maritime emergency would make this moot).

While we were listening to the instructions twice (once in English and once in Spanish), I watched a beautiful, glittering ship depart San Juan's port with a few joyful toots of its horn. It was Royal Caribbean's Adventure of the Seas, a ship equipped with an ice skating rink, rock climbing wall (not that I would do it), mini golf, basketball court, fine dining restaurant, and lovely decor. I wanted to scream "Wait, you forgot me!" as I sweated in my fluorescent nylon cocoon. Of course, I wound up staying on the Carnival Destiny for the week, with its decor of disco meets strip club (really, I thought the ass flashing Destiny Dancers were going to do a number with the numerous mirrored poles located all over the ship) and its nonexistent activities.

The prices between the Adventure of the Seas (AOS) and the Destiny were about the same for the week everyone was able to go. I tried to make my case for any of the Royal Caribbean cruises (western or eastern cruises were fine too!) during the planning stages of our trip, since nobody had traveled on RC except Josh and me, and everyone else had been on Carnival (10 years ago). However, we all know how that attempt to put in my two cents went.

Mr. Nocheese put his foot down. He said that all of his friends said that Aruba was the place to go, so it must be a southern Caribbean cruise. The only cruise ships doing that area were the AOS and Destiny. Unfortunately, AOS wasn't going to Aruba, although from the looks of its itinerary for the fall, was probably going to a not-so-shabby place of St. Lucia or St. Maarten instead. Mr. Nocheese demanded Aruba be the priority in vacation planning, and I was wondering why he didn't just go to Aruba for a few days instead of complaining about the cheese onboard.

When we got to Aruba, our final port of call, Josh and I prepared to go to the beach (which turned out to be a disappointment - St. Thomas was loads better, with Barbados in a close second). When we went for a taxi, I noticed that Mr. Nocheese and Computer Cousin were conspicuously absent from the group. It turns out that the two of them were headed off for a tour of a BUTTERFLY FARM.

So the one who mouthed off the most about how Aruba was to-die-for and therefore limited our cruise choices didn't even visit the beaches his friends so highly recommended. Honestly, if he wanted butterflies, he should've saved the bucks and gone here.

Cruise Post #12: Monday morning gambler

Since the Carnival Destiny had diddly squat for activities onboard, we were left with the casino for fun. Josh became interested in playing craps when we were on Royal Caribbean, and he and MB watched the craps table for a while so that Josh could refresh his memory, and MB could learn. The table was really crowded, so I went for the widely available slot machines, where I won $10 and called it quits.

When Josh and MB finally played, MB lost $20 pretty quickly and he declared that he didn't like the game. Frankly, I was happy that MB wouldn't be playing craps because the craps table would be unbearable with him and his snide right-side-of-mouth comments in addition to the possibility of losing money.

The next couple nights, I played Josh's money. Josh says that he does better in craps when I'm there, so he stood by me and made suggestions. I served more as a restrictive feature than crazy gambling girlfriend. If he wanted to put down $12 in additional bets, I would protest sometimes (I was right more often than not because the rollers crapped out quickly).

The last night, Josh went for the craps table. There was no room because of all the gamboholics wanting to get their last fix before debarking the next day. Josh decided to squeeze in between the dealer and this behemoth of a woman I called "Aunt Jemima." I didn't play for him due to two reasons: (1) there wasn't enough room for both of us and (2) the Nocheese family was there too.

I told Josh that he shouldn't be playing craps while the Nocheeses were around because it was like having your parents watch you gamble. Since the Nocheeses were notoriously cheap, there was plenty to be said by them. Mr. and Mrs. Nocheese's comments were more of the movies-with-your-parents variety.

MR. NOCHEESE
Was that a bet?

MRS. NOCHEESE
You ween money?

MR. NOCHEESE
What just happened? Did you lose?

MRS. NOCHEESE
You lose money?

Mam's Boy was more annoying than his parents (quite a feat in itself) and puffed his chest out with his craps knowledge (which was learned the first day of the cruise). His comments were more of the stating-the-obvious of a Monday morning quarterback.

MAMA'S BOY
[watching somebody win $25 on a field bet]
You should play the field.

JOSH
Nah, it's a lot harder than it looks.

MAMA'S BOY
[watching the roller crap out and everyone losing their bet]
You should play the C & E.

The dealer passes the dice for Josh's turn to roll

MAMA'S BOY
You'd better not crap out on your first roll!

JOSH
[craps out after second roll, and I try not to shoot daggers at the smirking MB from my eyes]
Well, you win some, you lose some.

MAMA'S BOY
I would've played the C & E.

ME
So, are you going to play craps now?

MY INNER MONOLOGUE
And use some of that oh-so-great-craps-knowledge?

MAMA'S BOY
[clutches his roll of quarters, funded by Mr. Nocheese]
Oh no, I'm going to play slots.

Josh left the craps table soon after that, and we escaped the Nocheeses. He had learned that the only thing close to the horror of Josh's mom, a serial backseat driver, was a Nocheese backseat gambler.

To be continued...

Sorry, I need a night off! I've got about three stories left to tell, so I'll continue tomorrow.

Cruise Post #11: Would you like some whine with your Nocheese?

Most nights, Josh would have wine with his dinner. He was able to buy a bottle and the dining room staff would keep the remainder on hand for the next night so he and his dad wouldn't have to purchase wine by the glass. Josh liked to spend a lot of time perusing the wine list and talking about the wines he likes.

MAMA'S BOY
Have you ever taken a wine tasting class?

JOSH
No, I've always wanted to take one. I couldn't fit it into my schedule during my senior year.

MAMA'S BOY
You should definitely go. I've been to a wine tasting seminar. My company treated me this year. It was one of the few things they did for us considering they didn't pay us. I learned how to drink wine and detect its undertones, like berry or oak.

This admission makes me think that MB did not go to Aureole in order to sing its praises over and over again at the dinner table. It's doubtful that his frugal nature would allow him to throw $79 for a dinner there.

JOSH
Would you like some wine then?

MAMA'S BOY
No, I don't want any. I do like pinot grigio though.

Am I crazy, or isn't pinot grigio a wine? With all the wine knowledge that MB was mouthing off about, he didn't offer an opinion about what wine to order.

COMPUTER COUSIN
My company took me out to dinner one night and I drank so much wine that I got drunk and was hungover the next morning.

JOSH
Would you like some wine then?

COMPUTER COUSIN
No, I don't want any. I think Labatt beer is the best.

With all the wine-talk coming from the Nocheese boys, I'd think they would have had some wine. They both refused to taste any of the wines Josh ordered that week. How could I be surprised about this? After all, Mr. Nocheese does not drink wine either, and his boys are quickly turning into his spitting image.

Cruise Post #10: You're too dumb to watch the news

Today's inclement weather reminds me of our second day on the cruise, when we were at St. Thomas. Strangely, we received news from the New York area while we were on the cruise. I was expecting to receive news from the Miami stations. That Sunday night, I was watching the news (there wasn't much else to choose from) and saw that there had been a huge storm in the NY area, causing floods and an unexpected temperature drop.

It had been disgustingly hot in NY when we left for the cruise, so hearing about the gorgeous weather that arrived just as we left really boiled my potatoes. I was thinking, "I could be home, not getting docked at work for this week, hugging my kitties, and gallavanting in the lovely non-humid niceness rather than trying not to punch any of the Nocheeses."

As we relaxed in Magen's Bay of St. Thomas, I tried to make conversation with Mr. Nocheese.

ME
The weather here is beautiful, but it turns out that NY is down to the 70s this week.

MR. NOCHEESE
No it's not. The weather is predicted to be in the 90s this week.

ME
There was a huge storm last night in NY and it affected the temperature. I saw it on the news last night. It was so severe that in one house, a tree branch was driven through the roof and into the family's living room and almost struck a kid while she was having dinner!

At this time, the rest of the Nocheeses gather around us as I disagree with their oh-so-knowledgeable patriarch, staring at me because how dare I have the nerve to contradict him!

MR. NOCHEESE
No, the weather is predicted to be in the 90s this week.

MY INNER MONOLOGUE
He thinks I'm making this up!

ME
Okay. I'm just telling you what I saw on the news.

WHAT I THINK MR. NOCHEESE WAS THINKING
What a stupid little Asian girl. She's making up stuff and trying to substantiate her words by saying she watched the news. Obviously, she is too dumb to watch the news if she quit law school! I am so smart!

Two days later, Mr. Nocheese told me that he had been watching the news and said that I was right about the temperature being in the 70s that week. I wasn't feeling victorious over what he said because he said it as though conferring a great honor upon me. It was more like him saying, "What a good girl! You wanna biscuit? Wanna biscuit! Yes you do! What a smart girl!!"

It turns out that Mr. Nocheese's uncanny ability to predict the weather is not restricted to his shiny pate of a head. His sons have inherited his innate sense of weather! The night before our debarkation, MB and CC wouldn't stop worrying about the supposed storms in the NY area.

COMPUTER COUSIN
There are supposed to be thunder storms that Sunday. We'll probably get home so much later because of them.

JOSH
Well, the storms might pass by the time we land. We're not supposed to get back until 4:00 and your flight is even later than ours.

MAMA'S BOY
No, there are supposed to be huge storms all morning. We're not going to get home on time.

JOSH
Exactly. The storms are in the morning. Our flights don't arrive until after 4:00.

ME
[checking the weather on weather.com]
It says that the rain is only in the morning and will most likely end by the time we even leave Puerto Rico.

COMPUTER COUSIN
Those storms are going to make our flights late. They'll probably be delayed in Puerto Rico.

ME
Whatever.

Cruise Post #9: Until you reminded me, I was planning on being helpless.

Remember how I thought Josh and I would be able to do what we wanted during the day and meet up with his family for dinner? Even Josh’s mom said that we would be able to do this when they were asking me to go on the cruise.

Unfortunately, all those words were empty. Not only were we joined to Josh’s parents by the hip, I had apparently become 5 years old! Take the following example from when we were about to head to the beach:

JOSH’S MOM
Did you remember to put on sun block?

MY INNER MONOLOGUE
No, I was thinking about cultivating a massive sunburn to end all sunburns and possibly getting skin cancer, but thanks to you, I’ve changed my mind

ME
Yes.

On evenings when we were going to attend a pre-dinner performance, Josh’s dad would call us and say that he was coming to pick us up. I would stare incredulously at the phone after hearing those words, wondering why Josh and I would need to be “picked up” to attend a show that was just three floors below ours. It’s not like we had to drive somewhere or we had no sense of direction (actually, the “grown-ups” had the worst sense of direction out of all of us). In fact, Josh’s parents would walk to our end of the ship to pick us up only to double back towards their cabin because the auditorium was on their end of the ship! Also, why did we have to sit together at the show anyway? It’s not like we talk to each other during the performance.

Sometimes, Josh and I would leave the cabin early on purpose to avoid the “we’re coming to pick you up” phone call. Then we would head to the dining room early and wait for the rest of our party, smiling at them, showing that despite the fact Josh’s parents thought we were morons and couldn’t find our way out of a wet paper bag, we managed to find the dining room ourselves and arrive before the rest of them.

Cruise Post #8: A Grand Day Out

I can tell you one person in our group had a smashbang time on the cruise: Josh's little brother ("JLB").

Josh's little brother LOVES food. He's one of those kids who asks what's for dinner when he's just started eating his lunch. His favorite dish is shrimp and pasta. If this option is unavailable, any type of seafood tossed in pasta will do just fine. If there's a bread basket at the table, he'll manage to sneak a couple pieces without his mom noticing.

JOSH'S MOM
[Josh's little brother], how many pieces of bread did you have? I gave you one to start.

JOSH'S LITTLE BROTHER
One.....

JOSH'S MOM
Are you sure you had only one?

JOSH'S LITTLE BROTHER
I had three!

There was no bread basket at our table, but the assistant server for our table was constantly replenishing JLB's bread plate, so we never really knew how much bread he ate.

Another day, JLB got lost on the ship. Even though I say that the ship wasn't as large as the one we were on last year, it's still a huge place for a kid to be lost in. Josh's parents wanted to take a walk and JLB was focused on the TV, so they told him to keep watching TV while they went out for a walk.

When Josh's parents returned to the cabin, JLB was gone. Josh's parents called me and the Nocheese family, and he wasn't with any of us. I left my cabin to join the search for JLB, only to bump into Mr. and Mrs. Nocheese. We walked towards Josh's parents' cabin and there were a couple stewards in the hallway. I began to speak to one of them, inquiring about a wandering kid when Mrs. Nocheese butted in, saying, "Dora, no. He speak Russian. I vill speak to heem." Okay fine, if her wish is to act as though he is unable to communicate with English-speaking guests, go right ahead.

I left the Nocheeses behind and ran into Josh's parents, plus JLB, on the way. It turns out that JLB managed to get from the sixth to the third floor of the ship and spoke to the information desk staff. He wrote out his name and home address, saying, "I lost my family, especially my daddy."

Cruise Post #7: The Nocheese No Cheese Policy

As their surname shows, the members of the Nocheese family do not like cheese.

If Josh and I ever wanted freshly grated parmesan cheese atop our salad or pasta, Computer Cousin would say, "You've just destroyed your food." I'm sorry, but it's not like we put cheese on his food.

CC and MB once ordered steaks that had gorgonzola butter sauce on top (can't alter the food order because the kitchen prepares meals in mass quantity). They wound up cutting around the sauce rather than ordering something else that would result in less work, and less bitching from MB.

One night, tiramisu was on the dessert menu. One of the ingredients in this dessert is mascarpone cheese. It doesn't really taste cheesey, just creamy.

MR. NOCHEESE
I love tiramisu! I always get it if it's on a menu when I go out.
[Looks at the tiramisu details]
It says there's mascarpone cheese in it though.

JOSH'S DAD
Tiramisu always has mascarpone cheese in it.

MR. NOCHEESE
I didn't know that.

RONZINI
What would you like for dessert this evening?

MR. NOCHEESE
I'll have the chocolate cake.

So even though Mr. Nocheese has been enjoying tiramisu without a problem for years, once he found out there was cheese in it, he couldn't have it. Never mind the fact that he's never complained about a cheesey taste in any tiramisu - the fact that something that falls under the cheese family is involved in his once-beloved dessert means that he will forsake the cursed dessert henceforth.

That's the Nocheese No Cheese policy.

Sweet freedom

Yesterday, I decided to read one of my numerous work-gained books on the roof since it was gorgeous outside. When I got up there, I saw two NYLS students, one from my applied ANAL-ysis group of first semester. It turns out that she didn't realize that I wasn't in class this week, and she asked me why I decided not to go back. I told her that I got a good job and the other student asked me if I planned on going back after some time to obtain my law degree. I gave him an emphatic "no" and my former group member said, "You were that unhappy?"

I told her that I wasn't that proud of what I accomplished during first year and I wasn't really interested in what I learned.

What I didn't say: I don't think I'm passionate enough about the law to force myself to endure the stress and frustration of going to law school. In order to survive all of that, you need a genuine interest in the law... or you just have to be violently passionate about becoming the next asshole lawyer on the block (which, I guarantee you, a few of my former classmates are already on their way to becoming).

Having said my part to my former classmates, I left them with their laptops, highlighters, and heavy textbooks so I could enjoy my book in a lounge chair on a beautiful day, sipping my iced latté.

Cruise Post #6: Table manners

Dinner was somewhat entertaining every night, or at least provided conversation fodder for Josh and me.

Mama's Boy ("MB") proved his semi-skin-deep sophistication time and time again during our meals. For example, he would spout his New York restaurant knowledge at Josh and me, as though we were uncultured bumpkins. His restaurant knowledge amounted to "Shake Shack makes the best burgers ever and Aureole is the #1 Zagats restaurant in New York." MB is ridiculously wrong about Aureole being the #1 restaurant. According to the 2005 Zagat Guide, Gramercy Tavern is #1. Josh tried to argue with MB about Aureole (which MB has never dined at personally), but like his father, Mr. Nocheese, MB does not take kindly to conflicting facts or opinions.

Twice, our server did not bring MB a steak knife. Each of these times, MB would wax poetic about how the server did not bring him a steak knife. While he wasted his breath on his complaints, he did not remind the server about the knife or ask for one at all. Mrs. Nocheese would say, "He forget knife? I vill ask for you." Mrs. Nocheese is a fan of thinking that younger people cannot handle problems themselves and she therefore must take charge, as evidenced by the way she treated me during our week together. Perhaps it's my fault I reacted to her behavior so strongly because I'm fiercely independent to a fault. I believe she gets this young-people-today-don't-know-how-to-do-anything attitude from her youngest offspring, MB. Another time, MB did not receive his fruit salad appetizer.

MAMA'S BOY
I can't believe stupid Ronzini forgot my food again!

MRS. NOCHEESE
He forget food? I vill ask for you.

MAMA'S BOY
No! I don't want to ask him for my fruit salad now. I'm going to wait until the most inconvenient time to ask for it. I'll ask for my appetizer when we're having dessert!

MRS. NOCHEESE
You not get food. I vill ask for you.

Computer Cousin, Josh, and I complained that MB's "revenge strategy" would be unnecessarily rude and callous to Ronzini. At this point, I'll point out that MB was the only one in our party whose food or steak knife was ever forgotten.

I think Ronzini was an excellent judge of character.

Cruise Post #5: Cribs

Let me tell you about our cabin for the cruise. Josh and I wanted an interior cabin since windows are useless and balconies are expensive. We wound up with a balcony cabin because there were no interiors left. This goes to show that you should book your cruise vacation early so you can get what you want and not wind up spending extra money.

It turns out that the air conditioning in our cabin wasn't working very well. I paged our steward twice the first day and never got a response. I wound up calling the room service number and they supposedly put in a service request for me. Mama's Boy said that their room was frigid (screw you, MB!), but sadly, our air conditioning worsened as the week went on.

On the morning of the second day, I discovered that our toilet wasn't working. That sure is the first thing you want to find out right after your morning bathroom visit! Fortunately, it only took Carnival most of the morning to fix the toilet.

Another time, Josh and I were going back to our cabin and found that we could only open the door about an inch because it kept banging into something. It turns out that the closet door had come off its track and was strategically blocking the cabin door. I had to wiggle my fingers around and push the closet door back so we could squeeze in.

Does anyone still want to go on Carnival?

Cruise Post #4: Are you in or out of line?

Vacations are supposed to be relaxing, but it took a hell of a time for ours to get to that point. On our first day of "vacation," we stood on a total of eight lines. The first two were at the airport, and that was to be expected.

I didn't expect the purgatory that Carnival offered in generous helpings. I was mistaken in thinking that the Carnival embarkation would be as smooth as Royal Caribbean when Josh and I took a cruise on Voyager of the Seas last year. That time, we sailed from Miami, FL, and the cheapest way to fly there was to take an early flight. It worked in our favor because the Royal Caribbean transfer allowed us on the dock early and we got into the terminal right away. Once inside, there were many stations to check us in and we embarked in less than half an hour. It was smooth and painless.

When we were at the Carnival dock in San Juan, Puerto Rico, (1) we stood in a herd outside of the terminal funneling towards a very small spot. People who had Carnival transfers were stuck because they had to wait to leave the airport. They didn't get onboard any earlier than we did. It turns out that the crowd was funneling to two San Juan employees who were looking to see if we had cruise tickets. Josh and I got through, but the woman who'd just let us through decided to stop working right before Josh's family's turn. After a while, the other worker checked them in, all so we could (2) wait in line AGAIN to get into the actual terminal.

(3) Then there was an hour-long line to check-in to the actual ship. We did what Carnival said and registered with their "Funpass" and completed the check-in process beforehand. It was ridiculously useless. The line for "Funpass" was 100 people long, and the one for those people smart enough NOT TO FOLLOW CARNIVAL INSTRUCTIONS was only 10 people long!

After that, there was(4) another line to take a picture we wound up looking really pissed in, then (5) another line to get through security, (6) another line to take pictures for our ID. I would call the buffet line for the crappy (worse than college dining hall food) lunch number 7, but Josh says I shouldn't.

The whole process only took 3 hours in total!

Cruise Post #3: Why think while on vacation?

Some people like to read on their vacations, and I'm one of them. I actually read 4 books during the week. Some people like to stop reading altogether during their vacation.

For example, Mrs. Nocheese didn't read the menu. One night, my cream of broccoli soup was served to me and she was astounded to find that it was on the menu at all. Another night, Mrs. Nocheese ordered the chocolate mousse. When it came, she got all pissed off because it wasn't chocolate mousse cake. There was no hint of the chocolate mousse being a cakey dessert.

Another night, both Josh's mom and Mrs. Nocheese were shocked to find that there was corn chowder on the menu. Josh's mom complained about the richness of the food all the time. She didn't seem to realize that there was a "spa menu" on the right side of the menu, which offered the regular main courses, minus any rich sauces and sometimes substituting healthier sides.

Clearly, they decided not to read their menus that week.

During the first night, we didn't have our regular dinner table. The cruise was offering "open seating," and gave two times to eat, depending on whether you were a 6:00 or 8:00 seating for the rest of the week. According to the instructions left in our cabins, we had to show up at 8:45 to eat dinner. Mr. Nocheese made us leave for dinner at 7:50, only to find that we couldn't get into the dining room. I kept saying, "Dinner is open seating tonight at 8:45."

ME
Dinner is open seating tonight at 8:45.

MR. NOCHEESE
No, it's open seating. We can eat whenever we want starting at 8:00.

ME
No, open seating means that we don't sit at our assigned table. We don't get to eat until 8:45.

MR. NOCHEESE
[Repeats his belief]

ME
It's in the newsletter they gave us in the cabin.

At 8:15, Mr. and Mrs. Nocheese accost a busboy about when they can eat and he tells them the wrong time of 8:30. We wind up waiting until 8:30, and they accost another dining room employee who gives them the correct time of 8:45.

Yeah, so what's with the thing "grown-ups" say about us young people not following instructions?

Cruise Post #2: Meet the Cast

Me (An ambivalent cruiser in regards to Carnival): I was offered the trip while I was waiting for my second semester law school grades to be released. Josh's parents said that they wanted to take me on the trip as a birthday present and said that I should relax before going back to law school (a.k.a. the house of pain). Of course, we all know that I decided to make my summer break from law school permanent. I figured I was being overly negative about Carnival and try to make the best of the vacation. After all, Josh's mom said that Josh and I didn't have to stick with the family the whole time as long as we dine together every evening. I thought that sounded good, and in the end, who's going to say "no" to a free cruise?

Josh (My boyfriend): He needed the vacation more than I did, considering his high-pressure summer job (a real legal job, unlike me, practically high off the fumes of my newfound job elation) and upcoming school year.

Josh's Mom: A stereotypical Jewish mother - 'nuff said.

Josh's Dad: I like to think of him as Mr. Common Sense. If it were feasible, I think he'd commute from central NJ to Manhattan on his bicycle every day to save gas, save parking fees, save bus tickets, and exercise all at once.

Josh's Little Brother: His whole world revolves around the next meal on the table (preferably shrimp and pasta).

Mr. Nocheese (Josh's uncle): He thinks he's a cruise expert because he took a Carnival cruise ten years ago (probably on the ship we just came back from) and a Princess Cruise in more recent years. Don't try to give him your opinion or established facts that you've heard about, unless you like being talked down to like you're five years old. He does not think that leaving law school for publishing is a good decision. He hates cheese.

Mrs. Nocheese (Josh's aunt): A very Russian, stereotypical Jewish mother. She defers to her husband for all matters and relieves her need to nag on the two Nocheese offspring. The cuisine she prepares at home involves lots of salt and no cheese.

Mama's Boy Nocheese (Josh's cousin, "MB" for short): He's a college student at GNYS (Generic New York School) studying investment banking or something financially generic. He enjoys speaking out of the right side of his mouth at all times and pouncing on you if you say anything he thinks is wrong (even though he's wrong about what he thinks is right). MB acts sophisticated, but his urbanity isn't even skin deep. He hates blogs (good thing he won't be reading mine!) and cheese.

Computer Cousin Nocheese (Josh's other cousin, "CC" for short): The oldest sibling of the Nocheese family, CC is entering his last year of college. After Josh, he was my preferred companion on the cruise. I was surprised to find such a normal person in such a shallow family. I guess there has to be a rebel in every family. However, just like the rest of his family, he hates cheese.

Cruise Post #1: How it all began

A few months ago, Josh's parents decided to go on a cruise to celebrate their wedding anniversary. They wanted Josh and me to go along to keep them company. Conversation with a party of consisting of each other and their younger son probably would've gotten stale after fifteen minutes. Josh's parents wanted to take me along as a birthday present.

I've never been offered such an extravagant birthday present, and Josh's parents are not even my family members. I tried to refuse because I didn't want to have any obligations to them and have to feel like I had to be an obedient daughter to them. I haven't married into their family yet! As you can figure out, I agreed to go on the cruise. Refusing so much would probably have looked rude after a while.

It turns out that Josh's parents wanted to join other family members for the cruise (Josh's cousins' family). They wound up deciding on taking the Carnival Destiny to the Southern Caribbean. I preferred Royal Caribbean because Josh and I had such a great time last year. However, Josh's uncle insisted on it being Carnival because he wanted to go to Aruba. Unfortunately, RC didn't offer Aruba for a port-of-call during the week we wanted, so the choices were automatically limited.

I tried calling Josh's uncle to give an opinion and offer the name of the cruise travel agent we used for our cruise, and he shot me down, acted condescending to me, and patronized me. I told Josh afterward that his uncle better hope that I don't sit across from him at the dinner table, lest he want the daggers from my eyeballs lodged in his smug face.

We were already off to a bad start and hadn't even stepped off dry land.

Home, sweet home

Normally, people think cruises are wondrous, luxurious, food-filled, relaxing vacations. My first two cruises were of this description, but the cruise I just returned from was anything but that.

I went on the cruise with Josh, his family, and his cousins' family. We left from San Juan, Puerto Rico on the Carnival Destiny for the ports of St. Thomas, Dominica, Barbados, and Aruba on Sunday, August 14 and returning in one week.

I felt as though the week would never end and I missed my job, apartment, cats, and air conditioning.

Since I'm so tired and dizzy (long story will follow this week) and I have work in the morning, so I'll make a bunch of posts about the cruise.

Mad as pants

I finished my second week of work, which was my first week working without one of my supervisors. With that supervisor gone, a lot of people looked to me to help them, and I was clueless about most stuff. I felt like I was flying by the seat of my pants. I got the hang of it eventually, or at least a good face to put on while I silently ran around screaming in my head, flailing my arms for help.

I left a note for my supervisor, who's returning on Monday, the first day of my week's vacation. It's not really a note - more of a long letter detailing the things I did, because I didn't stick to the list of things that he left me to do. I like the last line of the note:

"I didn't stick to just the list you left me - please don't kill me!"

One year

It's been about a year since I moved to New York City and a lot has changed since then.

I still remember the first day I officially lived in my apartment. I moved in a couple days earlier than I'd expected, so the cable installation was still two days away. I felt disconnected from the world without an internet connection or TV. That evening, I wasn't prepared to cook, so Josh and I went to the market to pick up some sushi, but also picked up these maple syrup stroop waffles. Now whenever I eat them, I think of the first day I lived in New York.

Since that first day, I've completed my first year of law school. Let's just say I was disappointed with the whole thing because the only thing I felt at the end of the school year was relief that I finished. There was no major feeling of accomplishment and pride. It was more of a feeling of, "Get me the hell out of here and so long suckers until fall semester!"

I learned that law school doesn't really teach you anything. Josh has learned more at his summer internship than in two semesters of law school. You can't even make an argument that law school teaches you how to pass the Bar exam, but your Bar review course teaches you everything you need to know. I once accused the law school of teaching you how to be a thick skinned lawyer because of all the useless and frustrating crap that gets thrown at you. My academic advisor denied that, of course. That's okay. I bet she didn't even like being a lawyer and that's why she came back for a cushy law school administration job (for a school whose administration does no administrating).

Now I've changed my life plans to pursue a career in publishing instead. That decision was the most comfortable one I've made in my life despite the money spent on that first year of law school. I constantly doubted my decision to go to law school but this is a decision that I don't doubt at all.

I wonder what living in New York City will be like now that I'm not tied up in all the law school hoo-ha and anxiety.

Grass is still green

I survived my first week as a production assistant! I learned a lot, but still have a long way to go. The job is definitely more interesting than my summer contracts internship. That probably confirms that I was best to get out of law school. When I open envelopes, I take out artwork and book covers. That is definitely an improvement over a bunch of contracts that all look/read the same.

One of my supervisors also told me that he's going to see if he can send me to one of our printing plants so I can better understand all the specifications better by seeing them in person.

To me, it's like going to a chocolate factory, only I can't eat the products.

Square peg in a square hole

I was offered a position today at the company I'm interning with. It was the second position that I'd applied for in-house (the first application was for a contracts assistant position).

On Monday, I will be an official production assistant!

Office Space

The other day, I wanted to make a quick copy. When I got to the copy room, a guy was already using the machine. He had a small book and there were about fifty post-it flags marking which pages he wanted to copy. I stood there waiting for a little while and he turned to me, saying, "I'm going to be a minute." I said that was fine and continued waiting. After he did a few more copies, he said, "I'm going to be a minute."

Oooooh. He's talking about one of those long minutes that will last for a while!

Silly me, and here I thought people who worked in publishing are supposed to be good with words!

Q & A

Why are you quitting law school?
I don't like it. At first I thought I had a prejudice against lawyers and would strive NOT to be a stereotypical, evil lawyer, but I realized that I don't like a lot of the subject matter that a lawyer's education is based upon. The law school's administration did not impress me either, what with its constant bungling of issues I felt were a matter of common sense. In the end, I couldn't see myself doing legal research (and paying exorbitant amounts of money to do so) and writing memos for the rest of my working years.

What are you going to do now?
I'm trying to find a permanent position in publishing, the industry in which I am currently interning. It's what I wanted to do since college, if not as early as high school.

Doesn't publishing pay crap compared to a lawyer's salary?
Don't think that having a piece of paper that says I have a J.D. translates to "please take this six-figure starting salary." Most likely, that kind of salary would only go to the very top students in my class, given that my school is a few tiers below Ivy League.

Did you fail out and are making all of this up as an excuse?
No, I didn't fail out. I actually did a lot better second semester (short of my evil oral advocacy class, where the professor was totally arbitrary in assigning our moot court grades) than first semester.

Aren't you being hasty in your decision?
Actually, I've been thinking about this since February. I've been unhappy with law school since then, but figured I might as well finish the first year since I'd already spent the money on tuition.

Why don't you just finish law school and go into publishing afterward?
Why waste over $100,000 to finish the last two years? I know what I want to do, and it certainly doesn't have anything to do with becoming a lawyer.

So didn't you just waste a lot of money?
I don't think it was a waste of money. I learned that I shouldn't listen to people who don't know anything about being a lawyer when they tell me that they think I'll be a good lawyer. Besides that, I understand what Josh goes through as a law student. If I hadn't gone to law school and gone through the first year, I wouldn't be able to appreciate the time that a law student has to spend on schoolwork. I did learn a lot during my first year, bookswise, that is, and I know that if I can get through a first year of law school, I can probably handle a lot of other things. Also, I don't think I would've gotten my current publishing internship if I hadn't been a law student. It opened the door for me, and I'm able to get interviews now because of that internship.

Is Josh upset about all of this?
No, Josh has been the most supportive friend I could have during this time. When I got rejected from my first application on Friday, he surprised me with long-stemmed peach roses. He said that he wants me to be happy and he knows that publishing is what I've wanted to do for the longest time.

A rant

"Oh no," you say, "it's another Harry Potter post!" Okay, it's another Harry Potter post, but don't worry, I won't go on and on about how much I love the books.

Somebody I know likes to go on and on about how he doesn't have any problems with reading for non-educational purposes. He also hasn't read any of the Harry Potter books. I'm not trying to make a real connection with those two sentences. He said that he does mean to read them, but he'll wait ten years to do so, because he refuses to be a sheep. He believes that everybody's reading Harry Potter because it's a fad.

In a day and age where computers, PSPs, Xboxes, and assorted brethren seem to be foremost in kids' eyes, I think Rowling's books helped say, "Hey, remember reading? It can be fun!" Mr. I-refuse-to-be-a-sheep seems to think that the kids will only read the Harry Potter series and then call it a day because it's a fad, not an enthusiasm for reading. I'm sorry, but fad or no fad, if you're 8 years old and reading a book in the three-digit-page-number-category, you're not reading it just because it's a fad. Harry Potter made way for other fantasy/adventure type books for young readers to become popular again. Yes, I know this genre existed before HP was a baby idea in Rowling's head. In fact, Patricia C. Wrede's Enchanted Forest Chronicles made me into a serious reader and I've never stopped reading for fun since I picked up the first book (definitely a fun read, lovely descriptions, humorous banter, and talking cats - what else do I need?).

To add fire my complete disagreement over Mr. I-refuse-to-be-a-sheep's "Harry Potter is just a fad and I refuse to read any of the novels for a decade" theory, he seems to have no problem watching the movies. How does that make any sense? He's still getting the same story he'd find in the book!

His response to my incredulous, high-pitched question? "Movies are entertainment."

And books aren't???

Laughing at vs. Laughing with

Let me tell you of one of my subway experiences from last week.

P was spending the day with me since Josh was at a Yankees game. While we were riding the 6 subway downtown, P (standing across from me) gestured that I should look at the guy who was sitting on my left. Apparently, P found something amusing about this guy's face so I refused to follow the instructions. P mouthed something about being blue and I said loudly, "What are you talking about?!" and he made up something about the moonstone on my necklace looking blue on my navy blue shirt.

Eventually, I gave in and took a seat across from my original one and noticed very quickly (in a non-obvious manner) that the guy who I'd been sitting next to had blue ink smeared on his face. He had some ink on his hand and unknowingly to him, every time he touched his face, he smeared some on. P was highly amused by this and kept staring at blue guy openly with no attempt to hide what he was doing. I felt like I had a child who didn't have any manners.

When we got off the 6 to transfer to another train, the blue guy (who'd been told by his friend that his face was blue by then) also got off and was waiting for the transfer. P wanted to get onto blue guy's car, most likely to continue staring at poor blue guy. I vehemently said that I refused to get on that car and I would not ride with P if he wanted to continue staring at blue guy.

We rode on the car behind blue guy, and P kept trying to look through the windows to catch a glimpse of blue guy during the rest of our ride.

May I have another?

Here's how big a dork I am:

I started reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince yesterday around 5:00 p.m.

I finished it today around 10:00 p.m. Keep in mind that I did go to bed last night (albeit late) and I did spend the day at work today (without the book).

I really have to say that J.K. Rowling is a great storyteller. There's nothing loosey-goosey about the novels as they progress because she'll mention details that were from her earlier books in the current one. Thanks to that melding of old and new, it feels as though I'm reading one gigantic book, rather than a seven book series. I guess I find Rowling to be a frugal and practical author who doesn't waste any characters she may have written, no matter how brief their appearance in a previous novel.

I feel happy now that I've finished the book, but I bet that tomorrow, I'll wish that the seventh one is about to be released.

A word of warning to those who plan to read/are reading Harry Potter: Don't read the NY Times book review by Michiko Kakutani. It gives away some important parts of the story. As soon as I read one of them, I stopped reading the review so I wouldn't spoil the entire book. My reading really was affected by just that one (although very important) piece of information.

Awaiting Harry

According to UPS.com, my copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blooded Prince is on its way to my eager hands. Once it arrives, you'll probably have to pry each of my kung fu grip fingers in order for me to let go of the book prior to finishing it.

I'm such a dork.

The potato: the king of vegetables

Mmm...deliciousness in a paper cone.

After Josh finally woke up (at 2:30 p.m.), we went out to Pommes Frites. Unfortunately, I gave in to my hunger an hour beforehand, so I had a sandwich and could not fully appreciate my fries.
Pommes Frites is a hole-in-the-wall kind of eatery, but it's still great. The tables and counters have perfectly sized holes cut into them so you don't have to hold your paper cone while working at your fries. The picture shows a regular sized portion of fries, which is more than enough to make a meal. One sauce comes with an order of the fries, which are delicious on their own. Josh and I had five sauces: curry ketchup, rosemary-garlic mayo, roasted garlic mayo, war sauce (European mayo, onions, and peanut satay sauce), and mango-chutney.

I didn't think I'd like having mayo on my fries, but it's not too bad! I'm glad I tried it.

Help feed the kitties

Mia was put down on July 5, 2005. I like to think that she held on until she was sure her kittens were going to be okay.

Happy Anniversary!

SoHo last Friday

It's been four years already!

Restaurant Week

It's Restaurant Week again in New York and I planned my reservation weeks ago for Blue Fin. However, I was an idiot while planning and didn't realize that Blue Fin was only doing the prix fixe for lunch. Yesterday, I was able to make reservations at Zoë for that evening. Josh and I have been there three times for brunch and figured that there was no better time to try their dinner menu than Restaurant Week. As another first, I also requested to be seated at the chef's table, which is more of a counter that runs along their open kitchen, which is located in the back of the restaurant.

I'm kind of happy that I goofed on the Blue Fin reservation because we had such a great time dining at Zoë. Josh and I were the only people sitting at the chef's counter. We were able to see the organization and precision that goes into our dishes from our seats right in the action. Josh says that he never wants to sit anywhere else except the counter when we go back. We actually got to speak with the chefs (when they weren't too busy).

For my appetizer, I had the Chilled Tomato-Rhubarb Soup with Goat Cheese Panna Cotta & Roasted Telicherry Oil. This soup tasted so refreshing and was full of flavor. The goat cheese complimented the tomato and rhubarb perfectly. For my entree, I had Charred Cornish Hen served with White Corn Ragout & Smoked Tomato-Basil Butter. I was surprised at how much food I got because I've heard people complain about Cornish hen usually leaving them hungry. The hen was cooked just right: juicy and tender. For dessert, I had a milk chocolate trifle that was composed of four layers (one was strawberries). I loved the way it was served in a little frosty glass displaying the different layers. The dessert wasn't heavy and wasn't overly sweet. I tried to eat slowly to make dessert last so my evening at Zoe wouldn't have to end.

Josh had the oysters to start. He had the Crispy Maryland Soft Shell Crabs served with Green Tomato Marmalade, Citrus Salad, and Pea Greens. For dessert, he had the banana tart, which was topped with whipped mascarpone cheese and coconut. Of course, everything he had was delicious as well. He also had the $15 prix fixe menu wine selection, which provided a glass of wine to compliment each course. Surprisingly, I liked one of the wines, a chenin blanc (I'm not a wine drinker).

Josh and I were surprised at the end because one of the sous chefs brought over a plate with ten mini cookies, saying that they were compliments of the chef. Excellent! There were five types of cookies, two of each type. I remember chocolate, chocolate-chip, lemon, and oatmeal raisin. The last cookie was another chocolate variation, but I couldn't pin it down.

At first, I was a little afraid our Restaurant Week experience was going to be a disappointment because of the post this tool wrote. He'd gone to Union Square Cafe for Restaurant Week and complained about close to the whole experience he had. I've been to Union Square Cafe twice, although never for Restaurant Week and haven't been let down. He also complained about the price of the prix fixe menu for Restaurant Week, saying that $20 for lunch and $35 for dinner is still expensive. I think the prices are quite reasonable when you compare them the cost of having all three courses off the regular menu of an upscale New York restaurant. I don't think any corners were cut to produce the prix fixe menu we had last night. I told Josh about the post and he said that the author was being a Harvard snob. Most likely, nothing would ever be good enough for him because he went to law school at Hah-vahd.

Books purloined yesterday: 7
Books amassed: 44

Buy me some hot dogs and souvenirs

For sound, imagine a bunch of loud girls who've never seen beer before.

Tonight, I went to my first Yankees game. Actually, it was my first baseball game ever. I didn't expect to enjoy it as much as I did, since I find baseball quite boring on television. However, it went a lot faster than I expected, and I wasn't paying attention half the time.

The several girls sitting behind us were loud and obnoxious, something to be expected at a sports game. They kept bellowing for beer whenever the beer vendors came around, as though they'd never seen beer before and were still blind to the $8 price tag per cup. While we're on the subject of girls, the two girls in front of me on the line for Dippin' Dots were about 12 and wearing enough makeup to make any drag queen proud.

I feasted upon a hot dog and mint chocolate Dippin' Dots (served in a souvenir hat). Of course, I put the souvenir hat on Morty when I got home (yes, I washed it). You can see the picture on Morty's Catster page.

Books purloined today: 2
Books amassed: 37