Cruise Post #6: Table manners

Dinner was somewhat entertaining every night, or at least provided conversation fodder for Josh and me.

Mama's Boy ("MB") proved his semi-skin-deep sophistication time and time again during our meals. For example, he would spout his New York restaurant knowledge at Josh and me, as though we were uncultured bumpkins. His restaurant knowledge amounted to "Shake Shack makes the best burgers ever and Aureole is the #1 Zagats restaurant in New York." MB is ridiculously wrong about Aureole being the #1 restaurant. According to the 2005 Zagat Guide, Gramercy Tavern is #1. Josh tried to argue with MB about Aureole (which MB has never dined at personally), but like his father, Mr. Nocheese, MB does not take kindly to conflicting facts or opinions.

Twice, our server did not bring MB a steak knife. Each of these times, MB would wax poetic about how the server did not bring him a steak knife. While he wasted his breath on his complaints, he did not remind the server about the knife or ask for one at all. Mrs. Nocheese would say, "He forget knife? I vill ask for you." Mrs. Nocheese is a fan of thinking that younger people cannot handle problems themselves and she therefore must take charge, as evidenced by the way she treated me during our week together. Perhaps it's my fault I reacted to her behavior so strongly because I'm fiercely independent to a fault. I believe she gets this young-people-today-don't-know-how-to-do-anything attitude from her youngest offspring, MB. Another time, MB did not receive his fruit salad appetizer.

MAMA'S BOY
I can't believe stupid Ronzini forgot my food again!

MRS. NOCHEESE
He forget food? I vill ask for you.

MAMA'S BOY
No! I don't want to ask him for my fruit salad now. I'm going to wait until the most inconvenient time to ask for it. I'll ask for my appetizer when we're having dessert!

MRS. NOCHEESE
You not get food. I vill ask for you.

Computer Cousin, Josh, and I complained that MB's "revenge strategy" would be unnecessarily rude and callous to Ronzini. At this point, I'll point out that MB was the only one in our party whose food or steak knife was ever forgotten.

I think Ronzini was an excellent judge of character.