Happy piggy year!

While walking to my grandma's house today, I stopped at a Chinese supermarket for some chocolates to give to her. As soon as I stepped in, an older woman accosted me with a thick Russian accent and asked me if I "know English." I should've pretended that I didn't, but I'm too nice and said that I spoke English.

She asked me which vegetable is good "for two." She said that's what they say in Russian. I didn't think she meant she needed enough veggies for two people. I told her that I didn't understand Russian (duh). So she asked me for a recommendation and I pointed her to gai-lan, which is Chinese broccoli I think. Something like mustard greens? Whatever, I remember my mom always made them, so it must be good for you (as I didn't like them, and still don't). Russian woman then asked me if they have fiber and I told her yes. Then she said something that sounded like, "Good for semen?" And I got all skeeved out and said that I didn't understand what she was talking about. She asked me how she should cook the vegetable (she was actually probably asking me about steaming the greens when I thought she was talking about semen) and I'm amazed I didn't roll my eyes and scream, "It's a veggie! Do whatever you want to it! I'm not going to report you to the Chinese vegetable police if you don't prepare it the way a Chinese person would!" I told her to blanch it and put a little oyster sauce on top (like my mom does) and she looked at me dubiously.

Then she asked if it was good for salad and I told her no. I said that if she wanted a milder vegetable to buy bok choi and pointed her in its direction. As soon as her back was turned, I scurried off and figured that she was one of those people who think all Asian people look alike and wouldn't bother me again.