She works hard for the money

I had a few work functions to attend this week. Mostly, I try to act like an adult while constantly being seen with some type of alcoholic beverage. The last time I went out to lunch with a sales rep, I was the only one at the table who didn't drink. While 90% of the group got up for a cigarette break, my boss ("B") gave me an impromptu "performance review." He told me not to feel that I couldn't drink while I'm technically working. He said that if I drank, he would feel less guilty about the half dozen vodka tonics he imbibed.

On Monday, I departed from my usual amaretto sour and went with gin & tonic, the beverage of choice for alcoholics (or so I've heard). I stopped drinking it when I felt myself turning red. You see, I could drink more than one drink, but I turn red (remember, I'm Asian) in the most unflattering way. Shirley has the ability to become rosy cheeked. I get this red raccoon mask instead. Not pretty. I don't think anyone noticed anyways. B was probably soused and didn't comment on my dismal performance alcohol-wise. I'm sure my coworkers made up for my slacking.

On Tuesday, I went out to lunch with the same sales rep as last time. We went to the ultra yummy Aquagrill. In honor of B, who couldn't attend, I had ordered a glass of chenin blanc, one of the few wines that I like. One of the other managers said, "B would be proud."

When I returned to the office after having lunch for three hours, Josh called.

JOSH
Where were you all afternoon?

ME
I was at lunch.

JOSH
ALL afternoon?? How long was this "lunch"?
[I took the liberty of putting finger/air quotes around "lunch" because it was dripping from Josh's voice]

ME
Three hours.

JOSH
Do any of you work?!

Yes, I work very hard before I go to lunch.