Cruise Post #13: Aruba, Jamaica, ooo I wanna take ya

On the first day of our cruise, all passengers were required to go through a muster drill before the ship departed Puerto Rico. During the muster drill, you report to your assigned "muster station" after a few ear-splitting blasts from the Carnival whale-tail above. Good little passengers, such as Josh and I, wore their standard-issue hideous orange box of a life preserver. Since Josh and I were early, we wound up being in the back of our muster group, smushed against the wall.

Josh took off his preserver since none of the Carnival staff would notice (not that they really cared) because it was so disgustingly hot and humid. I discovered that if I leaned back, my life preserver would preserve the back of my head from hitting the metal wall behind me, so I semi-reclined as I was given instructions that would save my life in the unlikely event of a maritime emergency, while the lackluster crew pointed out where our lifeboat would be (right in front of our muster station - probably the only sensible design on this cruise ship - although screaming passengers during a maritime emergency would make this moot).

While we were listening to the instructions twice (once in English and once in Spanish), I watched a beautiful, glittering ship depart San Juan's port with a few joyful toots of its horn. It was Royal Caribbean's Adventure of the Seas, a ship equipped with an ice skating rink, rock climbing wall (not that I would do it), mini golf, basketball court, fine dining restaurant, and lovely decor. I wanted to scream "Wait, you forgot me!" as I sweated in my fluorescent nylon cocoon. Of course, I wound up staying on the Carnival Destiny for the week, with its decor of disco meets strip club (really, I thought the ass flashing Destiny Dancers were going to do a number with the numerous mirrored poles located all over the ship) and its nonexistent activities.

The prices between the Adventure of the Seas (AOS) and the Destiny were about the same for the week everyone was able to go. I tried to make my case for any of the Royal Caribbean cruises (western or eastern cruises were fine too!) during the planning stages of our trip, since nobody had traveled on RC except Josh and me, and everyone else had been on Carnival (10 years ago). However, we all know how that attempt to put in my two cents went.

Mr. Nocheese put his foot down. He said that all of his friends said that Aruba was the place to go, so it must be a southern Caribbean cruise. The only cruise ships doing that area were the AOS and Destiny. Unfortunately, AOS wasn't going to Aruba, although from the looks of its itinerary for the fall, was probably going to a not-so-shabby place of St. Lucia or St. Maarten instead. Mr. Nocheese demanded Aruba be the priority in vacation planning, and I was wondering why he didn't just go to Aruba for a few days instead of complaining about the cheese onboard.

When we got to Aruba, our final port of call, Josh and I prepared to go to the beach (which turned out to be a disappointment - St. Thomas was loads better, with Barbados in a close second). When we went for a taxi, I noticed that Mr. Nocheese and Computer Cousin were conspicuously absent from the group. It turns out that the two of them were headed off for a tour of a BUTTERFLY FARM.

So the one who mouthed off the most about how Aruba was to-die-for and therefore limited our cruise choices didn't even visit the beaches his friends so highly recommended. Honestly, if he wanted butterflies, he should've saved the bucks and gone here.